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3-Point Belt Review Vol.7: Elyte Excellence

Awesome Elysium

VFX Review: Elysium (Neill Blomkamp, 2013)

1. Dear blog reader,

STEPHANIE and A CRAZILY WELL-INTEGRATED KEY-FRAMED CG ROBOT FROM ELYSIUM request the pleasure of your company at:

THEIR WEDDING

Saturday, 24 August 2013

2. Ceremony and Reception Venue:

18 Paradise Rd

Third Arm of the Star

Elysium Habitat, Outer Space.

It’s a stunning  environment, partly created by digital sky replacement over Miami. If you’re commuting from the shockingly dirty slums of Earth, please remember to wipe your feet. We don’t want your diseases clinging to our impeccable doormats.

3. Finally, please ensure that all +1 guests are agreeable with the fact that the film Elysium is in fact AWESOME because of its story that doesn’t stuff around, solid character performances and partially in-camera VFX/SFX elements that support the film rather than bore you to death with CG. To all those who don’t agree, please remain on Earth and continue to compare it to your VHS of District 9 (an equally awesome film), while Stephanie lives it up in a elitist habitat watching Elysium on her Super Hi-Def Awesome-Ray.

RSVP by seeing this movie immediately. Hope to see you there!

3-Point Belt Review Vol.4: See More Evil

Iron Man BEWARE.

Iron Man BEWARE.

Iron Man 3 (Shane Black, 2013) – SPOILER ALERT

1.Tracking = dayyy-aammnn. Even when the camera pans and zooms, the characters are definitely looking at a fixed position in thin air where the non-jittery holograms exist. And that suit! When Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) walks around with a half-formed suit, or gets out of it, you can’t help but think it’s really attached to him. And in this VFX breakdown, where are the tracking markers on this character? Markerless, you say? DAY-AMN!

English: A woman and her rabbit Français : Une...

Awwnhh, you need a cuddle Flopsy the rotoscoper? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2.The background replacement in the monkey-barrel scene is incredible. Painting around real falling humans? Sounds like some rotoscopers lost some sleep. Someone get those Digital Domain guys 10CCs of sympathy cuddles, stat!

3. I found the pacing to be lacking a bit and frankly, my cat would have been a scarier version of the villain Mandarin (refer above) than Guy Pearce. Hell hath no furry like a kitty scorned. At least in the disappointing Iron Man 2, the villain was slightly better, like – “OMG, I HAVEN’T SHAVED MY LEGS IN TWO WEEKS!

Small scream

THE HORROR! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

– kind of scary (FYI, the lovely legs in that link are not mine). As my boyfriend pointed out, everything needed to be a little more “rock and roll”, so let’s speed up the tempo and add some more evil!

3-Point Belt Review Vol.3: Not So ‘Crood Awakening’

The Croods - Give Eep some angst by removing her mother.

The Croods – Give Eep some angst by removing her mother.

The Croods (Chris Sanders, 2013)

1.To the visual effects department: all the simulations were beautiful. The dust clouds were fluffy and the fur had a beautifully ‘sheepskin run’ quality about it.

Russian Rainbow Gathering. Nezhitino, August 2005

Deep, man, deep. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Character designs = wonderful! This includes fanciful takes on what prehistoric animals could have been, à la flying turtles and land whales. It’s actually a very clever ploy to suck in the audience so that our experience of a new world parallels that of the Croods so that we become Croods ourselves. Woah, analysis = deep.

3. It’s rare to see an animated family with the parents both intact (The Incredibles is one) and I think there’s a reason for it.

The crux of the movie revolves around a father-daughter struggle where the mother’s existence is superfluous. In fact, she hinders a potentially more angst-ridden relationship struggle for the daughter, like Hiccup in How to Train Your Dragon or the poster child for angst, Harry Potter.

Original image description from the Deutsche F...

Now I can have a satisfying movie experience AND ignore Hitler! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can prove it – squint one eye, raise your thumb and whenever the mother – Ugga – comes on screen, cover her face and block your ears. Wow, the movie continues seamlessly! I honestly think she’s just a baby carrier. How insulting. And on another note, even though I was entertained while watching it, I would have much preferred The Croods to have been the Aardman claymation – Crood Awakening  – John Cleese set out for it to be. Hello, I’m a 90s kid, and I will watch anything reminiscent of the cavemen TV series Gogs!

3-Point Belt Vol.2 – Clash of Actors?

Who knew pretending to be Greek could be so easy?

Who knew pretending to be Greek could be so easy?

Clash of the Titans (Louis Leterrier, 2010)

Clash of the Titans (2010 film)

Sexy kraken. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. What went right: the seamless fusion of the wings to the Pegasi (my plural for Pegasus), the subtly convincing, venom veins (woo, alliteration!) on Perseus’ arm and the kraken. Kraken = money scene. Brilliantly designed creature.

2. What went wrong: unoriginality. A lot of reviews rip on the CG but I think it’s the writers’/director’s fault the plot makes any VFX flaws stick out like a sore thumb. However, I do have to say, why didn’t they design original effects? Why did they choose to pick Hades to materialise like a dementor? He could have entered in a much more evil Lindsay Lohan kind of way. And why is Medusa so humanoid? The design has been seen before, let’s think for ourselves people!

3. My remarks throughout the whole movie:

Lord Voldemort

Hades needs sex-ifying. Get Draco to slap some tan on him. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘Hey, isn’t that Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) playing Hades?’

‘Hey, isn’t that Mr Tough Danish Bond villain (Mads Mikkelsen) playing Mr Tough Greek captain guy?’

‘Hey, isn’t that the captain from 300 (Vincent Regan) playing a Greek king?’

‘Hey, isn’t that Dr Jekyll from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Jason Flemyng) playing Greek Dr Jekyll?’

The biggest problem I had (besides bad storyboarding and writing) is this jumble of characters ripped from other roles. It’s like they grabbed every actor who resembles one cast character in another movie, slapped fake tan and eyeliner on them and BOOM! – you’re Greek. Do we have no faith in choosing other actors for a role they haven’t played before?

English: Sam Worthington at the 2010 Toronto I...

Mate, I’m true-blue Greek, swear on Mum’s Vegemite pavlova. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And on a more important note, I loved the mismatching accents. I REFUSE to watch a tale about Greek mythology UNLESS it stars actors who keep their Downton Abbey English, their Taken Scottish and their rinky-dink Australian accents. True blue blokes.