Who knew pretending to be Greek could be so easy?

Clash of the Titans (Louis Leterrier, 2010)

Sexy kraken. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. What went right: the seamless fusion of the wings to the Pegasi (my plural for Pegasus), the subtly convincing, venom veins (woo, alliteration!) on Perseus’ arm and the kraken. Kraken = money scene. Brilliantly designed creature.

2. What went wrong: unoriginality. A lot of reviews rip on the CG but I think it’s the writers’/director’s fault the plot makes any VFX flaws stick out like a sore thumb. However, I do have to say, why didn’t they design original effects? Why did they choose to pick Hades to materialise like a dementor? He could have entered in a much more evil Lindsay Lohan kind of way. And why is Medusa so humanoid? The design has been seen before, let’s think for ourselves people!

3. My remarks throughout the whole movie:

Hades needs sex-ifying. Get Draco to slap some tan on him. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘Hey, isn’t that Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) playing Hades?’

‘Hey, isn’t that Mr Tough Danish Bond villain (Mads Mikkelsen) playing Mr Tough Greek captain guy?’

‘Hey, isn’t that the captain from 300 (Vincent Regan) playing a Greek king?’

‘Hey, isn’t that Dr Jekyll from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Jason Flemyng) playing Greek Dr Jekyll?’

The biggest problem I had (besides bad storyboarding and writing) is this jumble of characters ripped from other roles. It’s like they grabbed every actor who resembles one cast character in another movie, slapped fake tan and eyeliner on them and BOOM! – you’re Greek. Do we have no faith in choosing other actors for a role they haven’t played before?

Mate, I’m true-blue Greek, swear on Mum’s Vegemite pavlova. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And on a more important note, I loved the mismatching accents. I REFUSE to watch a tale about Greek mythology UNLESS it stars actors who keep their Downton Abbey English, their Taken Scottish and their rinky-dink Australian accents. True blue blokes.